(Mis)Adventures in Sexland

There is a professor in my department whom I adore. Besides having a memory that allowed him to not only quote elaborately, but also cite accurately, and having only read Lacan’s Écrits in the original French, he was also quite witty. His humor often showed itself in the form of tangents that he always managed to relate back to the lecture at hand.

One of those tangents was on the very funny faces that we make when we are fucking.

“It is the best when you and your partner look at each other and recognize the humorousness of the other’s facial contortions at the same time,” he said. “If you haven’t experienced this yet, I hope that you all will get the chance to find yourselves in this situation.”

The class laughed, and I was a bit relieved that the fellow student that I had slept with was out sick that day.

He was right, sometimes, sex is funny. For the sexually-adventurous, mishaps are bound to happen, and it is best to take it all in stride. I’m sure that I’m preaching to the choir, because anyone who is a good lay knows this.

This leads me to my own recent misadventure.

There was a boy in my bed. He was tired, but I was ready for some action. We had already fucked earlier, but I pride myself on being insatiable.

“Fine, fine,” he relented, “but only if you do all of the work.”

I reached for a condom and handed it to him. He rolled it on his cock.

“Hop on,” he told me.

I climbed on top of him and lowered myself onto his waiting cock. I rode him lazily, until he got more excited. As I ground my clit into his pubic hair, he began slapping my ass. I moaned and groaned until my orgasm broke, and I shuddered around his cock.

Sometime later he came too.

Where’s the funny part, you ask?

Well, as we lay there in our post, post-coital exhaustion, he said to me: “So, when I was spanking you, I accidentally hit my balls. Goddamn that hurt!”

I snorted with laughter and he reluctantly admitted that it was a pretty funny situation.

“I guess it did make me last longer,” he said.