Notes From the Trenches

If you are on the cusp of your fortieth birthday, please do not:

Spend all night chatting with me.
Mention that you are bisexual while chatting with me, because at age thirty-nine, you certainly know the effect that that has on hip young women like me.
Follow me to the basement. (You haven’t seen the basement yet? You must let me give you a tour. You have to see the washer and dryer…)
Proceed to freak out after we kiss in said basement.

Because if you are almost forty-years-old you should know when a girl is flirting with you. Also, at your age you should know what a basement looks like, and you should know exactly why a woman is inviting you away from the rest of the party. As a Grown-Up ™ you should really consider avoiding situations that you know will make you uncomfortable.

Just a bit of friendly advice.