Just Like Any Other

As you know, I'm a girl that fucks Jefferson and I drink bourbon. Blah blah blah. Clichè. So I read this NYT article with interest. It was, as you can imagine, pretentious and ridiculous. And Maker's Mark did not come out well in the blind taste test.

Dumb, I say, as my recent trip home for Thanksgiving was made rather incomplete when the bartenders looked at me with bewilderment when I ordered my usual "Maker's Mark on the rocks, easy on the rocks."

I have never wanted so badly to be in the south, I texted Nick.

Haha, he wrote back, I'm on my third Maker's with my grandmother.

By the time we reached the third bar, I gave up and just ordered a beer straightaway. When the bartender asked me for me ID, I gave him an incredulous look.

"Hey, I gotta ask everyone," he said.

"No, no, I understand," I said, pulling my driver's license out of my wallet.

Turning to a friend, I whispered, "You'd think that he wouldn't need to look at my ID, seeing as the dude's dick has been in my mouth."

It's true, several years ago, I had given the bartender a blow job.

After I ordered my third beer, I slid a bill across the bar for the bartender to make change.

He waved it away.

"No, no," he said, "This one's on the house. I didn't realize who you were before."

I win!

I Should Really Check My Stats More Often

I just realized that I had a post picked up on Fleshbot's Sex Blog Roundup last Tuesday.

Thanks, Always Aroused Girl!

How to Make the Gay Boys Leave You Alone So You Can Prepare For Your Impending Threesome

I was lying down trying to sober up a bit before the boys came upstairs when my phone rang.

"Hey Atticus, what's up?"

"John and I are hanging out at his place. You should come over."

"Um, I already have plans for tonight."

"So? Come hang out with us instead."

"I'm not at home. I'm all the way over at Lake and 86th."

"Whatever. Just come over."

"Atticuuuus. I'm expecting two boys for a threesome in a minute."

"Tell her to quit whining and come over," John yelled in the background.

"John says that you need to come over," Atticus informed me.

"Look, Atticus, ask John if he's gonna stick it in. 'Cause if he's not, I think I'll stay here."

Atticus relayed the message to John.

From the background I heard, "Ewwww. No way!"

"So, yeah, I'll call you guys later," I said.

What A Tease!

Last night I demonstrated to a boy just how ineffective ball gags can be at keeping a person quiet. Today, my ass is purple, which coincidentally, is the same color as the ball on my gag.